[death note] inertia

[gigantomachy]

Another Death Note fic. I'm not happy with it, but I've been staring at it for hours and I don't want to deal with it anymore. LightxL slash, not worth an NC-17, but definitely a hard R for sexin'.

Summary: It is a battle of a different kind, though no less brutal.


inertia
(recollect me darling raise me to your lips.)

He is not in love.

Nothing even close, really.

L's body arches against his, and he smiles brutally - despite the haze of pleasant stimulation, he is clearly in control.

How strange, Light thinks; L does not react like a lover should. He will not drag any sound beyond a throaty growl from those thin, sugar-coated lips. Reedy fingers may scramble and fist into the sheets and the tender flesh of his back and thighs, but those dark eyes will never close, not even at the peak. It is a battle for dominance, one of the more interesting ways they fight. (And they do. It is savage and animalistic, teeth and nails and sweat and one would think they are trying to rip each others' throats open with the sheer force of their lovemaking, if it could even be called that. They fuck like enemies. They are an even match.)

Even now, even while L's sharp white hips grind against him in obvious challenge, the detective is searching for Kira in his touch.

That suits Light just fine.

L's bottomless stare tracks each movement: analytical, emotionless, simply waiting for the slip. Perhaps he has learned to school his emotions better than Light; perhaps he simply does not care. Either way, Light thinks that perhaps he's losing, and the thought drives him mad.

For a moment, Light hates him more than he has ever hated anything. He wants nothing more than to destroy those black, black eyes, to force a scream of something from the cadaverous man beneath him. Anything at all. With a soft cry of frustration, he bows his head against L's pale chest, rocking forward hard enough to push L six inches closer to the headboard, hard enough to exact a shallow gasp of pain.

It's not enough.

Light jerks the chain that binds them harshly to one side, snarling like a dog as the aluminum links tighten around L's throat. When he raises his head, there is no mistaking the touch of madness gleaming in his dark eyes.

L's mouth shapes the words slowly, lazily. Twenty-seven percent.

Fuck you, Light hisses, but it's too late, and the slick clenching heat of L's body is too much. His body spasms and twitches as he comes, clutching the chain hard enough to leave bruises against his palm. L follows suit soundlessly, the only indication of his own release a shudder that travels the length of his body, and the sticky pool of warmth spreading between them. Perhaps he is excited by the pressure against his throat. Perhaps it is something else entirely.

Light knows he has lost. He holds the chain there a moment longer (waits for the madness to retreat), breath coming in sharp, stacatto gasps before releasing it and collapsing to his elbows. He shifts, burying his face in the damp curve of L's neck. "Why," he murmurs thickly, "are you so fucking cold?"

He is still inside him.

L snorts softly, turning his head away from the warm, soft face so close to his own. In this war, he thinks, it is impossible to leave unscathed.

"What does it matter?" L returns softly, and if Light were watching, he would see dark eyes flutter closed, a bleak look slipping across L's face. His voice does not tremble. "You don't care at all."

-fin
18.12.06

I reallyreally need to stop writing porns and get my KH secret santa fic done. Speaking of porns ... I swore I'd never write them again. Oops, huh?

Also, anyone familiar with the Death Note universe that wouldn't be interested in being an idea-beta for me? I just want to throw some ideas for an epic!AU at you and see if it wouldn't work, at least a little. If interested, email/g-talk me (shiikuATgmail) or AIM (roketto rabu).

Comments

[gunners-view.livejournal.com]

Unf unf unf I mean, hi there some more. <3 It's not like I've fawned over your stuff at ff.net and come to your journal, pointer hovering over the 'add' button for several minutes before backing off in fear of an add-back and inevitable tainting of your friendlist with occasional blocks of uncool. Orz. D:

I'm actually with you on the sex thing; I'm kind of under the impression that everyone seems too busy being evil/devious/what-have-you to get naked with each other, even in the off-page time. Plus, I'm under the impression that a lot of goodfic is brought down by gratuitous porn. >.<

(Strangely enough, I'm fairly positive that this whole thing was brought on by my neglected love of Seishirou-types. There's a guy who'll teach a writer a thing or two about being a cold unfeeling bastard in the sack.)

I'm glad you liked it, very much so. Doubly so since you're one of my absolute favorite Death Note writers evereverEVER. Eeeee.

I'll be putting out some more DN fic as soon as I can pry myself away from the current design project I've got going. Too much to do, too little time and all that jazz. T___T

[vazavati.livejournal.com]

firstly: Oh. oh. hey. Blushing time. Hello. Wow. Stuff. Things. Yes. ♥ thank you very much for the absurd compliments, Miriya. For the record, it totally made my entire night reading this comment yesterday--this morning, rather (doing the nocturnal schtick)--I'm very very happy that you enjoy my Death Note fic; you've no idea. :) 'Cause it's...such a tricksome series, but it's the only one that keeps my writing-interest, so--yes.

Add me if you want--? XD Come oooon, my friendslist is a plate of gel growing microorganisms. I want you on it.

secondly: Yes! Exactly! The series mimics the characters' obsessive concentration--Light has got no time for being naughty; he is far too busy sacrificing all else in his life to the altar of fear-provoked God complexes Kira. And, yes. Gratuitous porn generally makes me drop a fic I'm reading. 'Cause...it's boring, I guess. And I think abstracts are yum but nine million badly chosen synonyms for genitalia are just not my cup of tea. :(

(SEISHIROU. ♥ ♥ ♥ YES. AMEN. AMEN. HE SHOULD HOLD A SEMINAR.)

--I never write le porn myself. Never taught myself how. Figured that I should participate in something even vaguely approaching sexual activity before I acted like I knew anything about it at all character-wise. :D; You know?

Design project? :o Tell, tell--!

[arclights.livejournal.com]

Haha, I'm totally intimidated by arty cool people: it's so true. I blame it on the fact that I grew up in the woods and fields of the backcountry. (Also, nocturnal is good, at least until you're forced into it. Two different graveyard jobs doesn't give you a lot of choice in the matter. XD)

(I like Subaru in a passive-be-my-bitch kind of way, but Seishirou. MY HERO.)

I've encountered precious few well-written porns (gelfling8604 comes to mind), but I'm an absolute sucker for tasty Bradbury-scented writing anyway. HEE. I totally understand. Actually experiencing sexin' yourself can help, I suppose, in a general way, but at least with the manporns you're going to need a pen0r and something in your pooper before any real information is gleaned.

Or maybe a sexually active gay beta-er. But that's kind of awkward, no?

I remember it taking literally weeks to finish off a sex scene when I was first trying to write them. I'd get everything taken care of up until the part where the undressing bits happened, and then get all blushy and save/close, and have to come back later. Also, I was like 15 or 16 and really embarassed that my mom would come in and be like whatchu writin'? (She used to beta my more ridiculously angstful, fully clothed writings.)

God, that was like 8 years ago. :x

Design project ... nothing nearly as interesting as it sounds. Beyond the usual reading/writing/gaming thing, I also harbor this weird website geekery obsession and have begun work on a series of premade layouts. But then I got this urge to make a new batch of icons. And then I caught up on Naruto and remembered that it was a really freaking good series. And then, well, I realized I just don't have enough hours in the day. T____T

Happy VDay, yo!

[vazavati.livejournal.com]

...And, the absurdly belated reply. I'm so great at putting email in the wrong folders. Whoops. 'Pologies.

--Well, I'll just smile and nod as I proudly make myself a badge that says 'arty cool person'. Shucks. I, too, am intimidated by such people, but never felt that I fell into that particular category. 8D So--huzzah. Thank you very, very much.

('at least you're not Subaru!' really is the best CLAMP slogan ever. :/ Well, unless it's 'It's Kamui's fault'.)

Ahahaha, my mother would have two kinds of fit if she ever thought I was writing a sex scene: first of shock, then of laughter. XD ...I shall be eighteen this July...You're my elder, oh lawks. *ducks & covers*

Well, kudos to you for actually understanding how to do graphics. Me, I don't know the first thing about it and every attempt to learn has ended in 'Grr! Flargle! Blah! Screw this; I'm going to go and write mediocre fantasy; I know how to do that!'

Naruto is a good series...even if I weary of its Shining Friendship and endless fight sequences...it has Kabuto in it. :( I need to catch up. Various spoilers are making it tantalizing.

[arclights.livejournal.com]

I understand how that works. I'm usually pretty crappy about keeping up with stuff, but it's generally a forgetting in the face of all the things I *want* to do. Alas!

(I SO AGREE.)

My mom, I think, would be jumping in joy that I was showing some outward interest in anything remotely sexual. She doesn't seem to realize that it's not a lack of interest so much as there's just way too many things that are far more interesting to do. My stepfather spent a good seven years positive that I was a raging lesbian, whut? I'll be 24 this July, though one would never guess with the attitude I've got. :P

I think the graphics thing is pretty much my way of letting out 'artistic' stress in something other than writing form, since I'm so abysmally rotten at drawing. >.< Also, I like computers. ♥

[vazavati.livejournal.com]

I think I had a chat with someone once who (unlike me) had actually been fairly sexually active at one point, and the conclusion was '...You know, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather just go read a book. :/ ' Ah, 'tis such a mystery to me. Someday, probably. Whatever. XD My mom'd be perfectly happy if I didn't acquire a boyfriend until I was fifty-two. Then again, she really wants me to have kids. Not sure how she's planning to achieve that particular goal.

Computers are spiffy, excellent things. And I...certainly understand the artistic stress. I cannot draw to save my life, really. I used to attempt it. It was horrific. I stick to writing, now--that and taking weird photos with my cell phone...?

That humanity, yup, it's surely a delight. And coming-of-age is so much more entertaining when, you know, the subjects are gadding about doing ninja-things. :| I have more affection for the villains than the protagonists at the moment, though, 'specially since Akatsuki's getting vastly more entertaining. It doesn't help, I think, that my favorite pairing among the kids is kind of Sakura/Ino which will never happen....ever. *sigh* Second part's good, though, I concur. Even if that fight with Sasori lasted NINE MILLION EVER-LOVIN' YEARS.

...and I don't know who Toriyama is. ._. *feels ignorant*

[arclights.livejournal.com]

That's about what it all boils down to. I'm just really glad the SO feels the same way, most of the time, hee. My mom is *all* about the kids -- she's been bugging me about it since I was 16. >.<

I want a cellphone for the nifty gadgets it comes with, or at least until I can hack my DS to work as a full pda and get internets on it. I hate telephones with a passion, and only pick them up after forcing potential callers to a particularly disturbing answering maching message of coil clips, and even then only pick up for my boss and my mother, but I am a gadget whore. ^^;;



Sorry for talking so much; I'm totally putting off getting ready for work. :x

[vazavati.livejournal.com]

My mother'll literally stop in the middle of the street to giggle and coo over babies, I swear. I'll be in the middle of relating something to her and then I notice her eyes wandering elsewhere as she completely ignores me and my first thought is--Oh. Sigh. There must be someone under the age of six.--and voila, I am usually correct. XD

Oh, but phones involve talking! And talking is, like, my favorite pastime ever! in case you missed that memo. 8D I have a voice-obsession, so of course speaking in person/on the phone is my preferred method of communication, although I end up on IM more often than not...dratted internet, sucks out my soul.

Yes, well, see, I've never really looked at Naruto through the goggles of Oh! Hey! Character Depth! and have more viewed it as something enjoyable & action-packed...so the antagonists catch my eye as being unique, entertaining, and unexplained enough to daydream about. --Interest in Orochimaru, you say...?! Ha! Yes! He needs more love. He's one of my more favored characters in Naruto, simply because he's so...audacious. And deliciously maniacal. And mmmm, one has to adore straight-up undiluted intense ambition---especially when juxtaposed with the OMG MUST HAVE IMMORTALITY WHAT. thing. Don't know if this makes sense, but I've always seen the desire for immortality as demonstrative of a...vulnerability? Of sorts? It's certainly chock-full of that humanity which makes Naruto appealing...

There're so many people in Naruto it's a mix-and-match festival. :| And Naruto's so straightforward that fanfiction authors can do whatever they want and be convincing by virtue of their own lack of straightforwardness, yeah? Like--hey! Omigosh! Acknowledge the slight possibility of something not clearly defined and love could be in the aaaa~~aaair! XD XD KabuHina? What. That's weird! Link me? I haven't read Naruto fic in forever, but--weirdness! I don't think I've ever written Sakura/Ino, but I've thought about it...I love it so. ...ShikaNeji; there's something I've never considered...then again, I honestly am not a huge fan of Neji, so that's probably why...

Thank you. --;

...clearly, I wouldn't be one to reprimand you on that score. :D;;;

[arclights.livejournal.com]

I dislike talking. I can IM just fine; no awkward pauses when you realize there's nothing to say, no having to hold it when you're in an intense conversation when you badly have to pee. Also, I sound like a six-year-old on the phone. And I'm kind of a recluse, and I deal with people best in short, distant bursts.

[vazavati.livejournal.com]

You--you dislike talking? Oh, that, that is a horrible tragedy. :( I am sorry to hear it. Although the whole need-to-pee dilemma is an understandable one. I get reclusive moods occasionally, but usually I'm out prancing around like a dork ready to be mocked at any given moment. 'Cause otherwise I would get bored.

Character depth is something I used to hunt down in Naruto like the dickens, but I feared and figured I was reading too much into it, considering what I've assessed it to be overall in Kishimoto's intentions. Unless a series is more...subtle, I generally write fic like mad for it if I really like it that's all depthy (yes, depthy, not 'deep') 'til I realize that, hey, I feel like I'm stating the obvious. XD May not be so, but if I have interpretations in which I hold Confidence I start taking them as fact. If that makes aaaany sense.

I always supposed Orochimaru inspired loyalty because of his sheer force of character: his intensity, his conviction, his unshakeable confidence. Yes, he's doing it Evil Bastard Style, but he knows what he wants and he goes for it without displaying a shadow of doubt. That inspires people & fascinates them, right? True, he has the intuition to go after the really fucked up kids, who're more likely to latch onto him, but I think that's the reason why. You've got to admit that Strong Personalities have appeal. People who refine and take pride in and are sure of their own abilities, etc. etc.?

...I've always thought how absolute Orochimaru is would maybe be something to attract Kabuto's respect, which is given to few (if any). Kabuto's more of a shapeshifter than Orochimaru ever has been or will be, figuratively speaking.

I'm not making fun of you, dork. ♥ I get what you mean about putting something in to make it convincing. There's usually room for that unless it's something really viiiiile. And even then...XD

Thanks! And, damned if I know. I never write porn so I haven't noted the difference? Like I said, rarely read it or even anything centered around Le Sex; yours was an exception 'cause I'd exhausted the rest of your DN fic and I was all "Must read more pls. :/" And lo, I was not disappointed.

...Narudemption. *adds to vocabulary* Precisely. Neji is now a Decent Human Being. I agree. I guess he just...never caught my interest. Except his hair. He has very pretty hair. Someone's been hitting the Herbal Essences.